Okay, on a more serious note...
Recent conversations have caused me to reflect on the show we sometimes put on in our early twenties for our parents and peers. "I'm happy, I'm in great social relationships, my career is taking off, I know where I'm going and I have a 10 year plan to show for it." Often it's true, but sometimes it's a lie when life throws you a curve ball, or some fundamental truth you've been holding onto is proven otherwise. We doubt our dreams when are left hanging in the middle of nowhere after graduation. We are forced to re-evaluate ourselves and our relationships.
And we don't admit that we sometimes don't have it all together because we get told, 'you're armed with everything you need to get out there', or 'be grateful you're young to enjoy life' or 'there's so much beyond the horizon'. But how do we get from here to the horizon? What IS the horizon? There are many choices but the choices are almost overwhelming. Or maybe there isn't as many choices as we would have liked.
Cuz the real world isn't friendly. And we want to slink back into the safety of school, carefree living habits and familiar goals. Who needs to think about Finance, Career and Marriage?
This is just a general 'theory' I came up with recently.
For me personally... I admit that I've been in a mad hurry, quickly spreading my roots and tentatively adhering to everything I touched--school, work, church, activities, people. Maybe I wanted to assure my parents and friends, or maybe myself too, that I'll be okay.
I'm not miserable or anything. Just beyond my daily happiness, there is an ebbing feeling deep down that knows I'm not THERE yet.
Random stray orange cat. (Again, why are most cats I see in HK orange?)
This is SOOO CUTE~!!!! (and has nothing to do with this post)
Interesting...I must agree. I feel like the front I (used to) put on is mostly so I don't lose face in front of classmates. Like they'd ask "So what are you doing after grad?", and I used to freak out because I didn't have a job lined up like they did. Nowadays though, I've realized, who gives a fuck what they think? Most likely, they'll end up hating life and wasting it in an office, I don't wanna be like that.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, no need to put on a front. Just do whatever and be a free spirit! You only live once, so why not make the best of it?
As for that gnawing feeling that you're not there yet, I think everybody gets that. I read some autobiographies of successful people a while ago, and almost everybody said that they had self doubt almost everyday when they were starting out. As you go on, however, it shrinks a little some days, grows somedays, but no matter what, you just have to conquer it and keep going!
I hope that was inspiring for you, it was for me lol.
And oh yeah, that third wheel kitteh pic is awesome! And PS3 prices??
haha, "who gives a fuck about what they think" is a great attitude.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that is inspiring. Thanks for that : )
I'll check PS3 out this weekend!!!!
i learned that everyone freaks out but not everyone has the guts to say it outloud. when you can admit it, you can do something about it when you're ready. it's like when you're sitting in class with your peers and everyone looks like they get it and you wonder why you don't. they're just as confused.
ReplyDeletewe feel ya cherry.
- karen